“Adolescent and young adult patients diagnosed with cancer face a unique struggle as they are forced to confront their own mortality at a time when their peers are discovering independence and feeling invincible,” said Robin Hanson, MD, PhD, Mercy Clinic pediatric hematologist-oncologist.
Hard to have words right now since this Mercy kids ad just popped up in my newsfeed, but this weighs heavily on my mind every second of every day. The AYA (adolescent/young adult) or my favorite the TNT (teens n twenties) cancer patients have a unique set of concerns as they "are forced to confront their own mortality at a time when their peers are discovering independence and feeling invincible." Anyone who really knows Wil knows independent and invincible are the words people use to describe him. All you have to do is scroll through my newsfeed to see video after video of him backflipping off a sheer rock face or diving to make a soccer save or jumping off a four story waterfall. Independent? Ha, let me tell you stories of him setting his alarm in 4th grade hand getting up alone and catching the bus everyday as one example. Invincible? Oh my, EVERYONE in my family as well as his coaches and his friends have their own stories to tell about Wil! Many that I do not even want to know.
We are struggling to find balance in our home with independence and invincibility and our CK (cancer kid). He is the youngest of our three. His oldest sister signed her first apartment lease, his other sister heading off to college, and these were to be his last 2 years at home alone with mom and dad...not to be the baby but to have privileges that his sisters never had at his age (gotta give the older ones something to gripe about right?!!) These 2 years were to be easy, a few bumps as I occasionally tried to reign in his independence and invincibility. How do I parent him now? From education and safety to emotional development and relationships... all the rules have changed. I'm supposed to be giving him wings, to give him enough space to make his own mistakes while I'm still his safety net. How do I do that now with a list of cancer safety rules? How do I balance the teenage invincibility with the very real concern of death from T-cell ALL?
To say that the conversations in our home are filled with depth and intensity would be an understatement. Parenting a teenager is never easy. Parenting a teenager with cancer, well I guess we will all travel this journey together and find out how it goes!
We have made it through 3 months... on to month 4, thank you again for traveling with us.
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