Stephen Hawking has died. This is very sad news in Wil’s world.
This is as good a time as any to tell about Wil’s first surgery, around midnight of his first day, and his intense relationship with Stephen Hawking. Immediately after he was diagnosed with leukemia we were admitted to the pediatric intensive care unit. You have to remember at this time we knew NOTHING of pediatric cancer or leukemia I was a normal
😳 parent just like any of you reading this! All kinds of frightening words were being passed around and the one that sticks in my mind was the doctor saying we are going to insert a 2 foot long tube in his groin area up to his heart and take out all his blood and either clean it or replace it...say what?? Please repeat. Needless to say having 2 sisters as nurses was an incredible blessing. But seriously what dimension have I walked into?
Wil of course was his normal joking self throughout this whole process. He had two amazing nurses that day Laura and Eileen, who did an amazing job keeping calm as well as dealing with a giant man child who was loud on the pediatric floor. He was always joking and teasing while Chris and I were trying to not fall apart and absorb the million bits of information thrown at us. When the doctors were wheeling Wil to the operating room the entire team gathered around Wil’s bed in the hallway as well as Chris and I and they had a moment of calm/reflection where the doctor asked for silence and they went over the objective and procedure to make sure everyone is on the same page. It is/was very impressive how focused the staff is on the medical procedure at hand. It is a very serious moment that was not lost on me as most of the people standing there were moms and dads with a child dying from leukemia in front of them. Once the meeting was over the team let us say our goodbyes and then they tell Wil they are going to wheel him into the surgical room and there is a bump on the way in. Needless to say they wheel him over the bump and he jumps in bed puts his hands up like it is a roller coaster ride and screams. There is a second where everyone pauses and looks at him to make sure he is ok, then EVERYONE busts into hysterical laughter. The doc says, so that’s how this surgery is going to go, we love patients like you Wil.
I know the surgery did not last long, but I remember pacing the hallways just screaming in my head “bring my kid back.” When they wheeled him back in the room he was knocked out, I remember looking into his man-child facing thinking how can this be happening? So panicked on the inside while remaining calm on the outside. They had chased everyone into the hallway except me and I remember seeing his sister peeking in through the blinds. It was so quiet and the lights were dim. They wheeled in the giant apheresis machine which is scary enough just thinking about what it does (separates plasma, white blood cells, & red blood cells) and I couldn’t help thinking this thing looks like something out of a 70s classroom (my first of many frustrations with pediatric cancer research). Picture in comments and more on that another day.
Here is where Stephen Hawkings comes into play. It is late at night the pediatric ICU has turned down the night lights and Wil STARTS TO WAKE UP. OH MY.... to say he was “tripping” on the drugs would be a vast understatement. The official medical term would be “a transient mind state evoked by hallucinogens.” Needless to say the first 20 minutes or so were scary for everyone and just LOUD with people coming running from all directions and lots of doctor orders for drug injections to counteract the reaction. And male orderlies coming in with velcro straps to tie him down to the bed and ME yelling at people to leave him alone and trying to explain to Wil calmly what was going on. Yes, Mama Bear was in full force.
Looking back it is funny, after the calming drugs took place. His sisters have plenty of video after the calming drugs to bribe him for life, but the first minutes WERE NOT. Wil started screaming all kinds of cuss words, wanting to rip off his IVs and his leg tube. Thrashing about and YELLING in his soccer goalie voice (for my soccer moms and dads they know that deep demanding, angry yell…). Imagine this voice in a small pediatric room on the pediatric cancer ICU floor at night! Wil went through several screaming matches yelling at us that we just didn’t understand! There was a whole sequence of screaming at the racoons on the wall to get on the f-ing train. Like where the hell is the f-ing train? Can’t we hear the train whistles? Brandi scrambling to get a sheet to cover up the picture of the raccoons. Me trying to explain to the panicking look on orderlies faces that he wasn’t going to be violent while he is screaming curse words at the top of his lungs about soccer and goalies and his f-ing team be the best damn team ever and they don’t know anything.
AND THEN the screaming for STEPHEN HAWKING comes. You cannot rationalize with him. He just had to get it out. He kept screaming at the men to get him Stephen Hawking. And anyone who walked in the room, where the f is Stephen Hawking. Wil screaming at the top of his lungs that he has figured out the fourth dimension https://www.youtube.com/watch… and it is through the sixth dimension and Stephen Hawking has to have this infomation right f-ing now. Yes, we told him we were going to get Stephen on the phone. At this point we are just waiting on meds from pharmacy to calm him down. But he goes on a 10 minute tirad explaining the fourth dimension and its relationship to the sixth dimension and OMG someone says what about the fifth dimension and that angers him and he’s screaming how the fifth dimension doesn’t matter AND HE NEED STEPHEN HAWKINGS RIGHT NOW because he is the only person in the world who will understand him…it was exhausting and scary and chaotic and bewildering and exactly how we were all feeling.
They get him the calming medicine and it does not stop him, but at least he is calm. I am attaching a small video of him an hour after the initial reaction and you can still hear the pain and panic in his voice. He needed Stephen Hawkings.
This was just a very small part of DAY 1 of leukemia. The next morning included the second surgery and you can be sure everyone and I mean everyone made sure he wouldn’t be given the same medicine as the night before.
So rest in peace Stephen Hawking, hopefully someday Wil and others will continue your scientific exploration of the 4th dimension.
This is as good a time as any to tell about Wil’s first surgery, around midnight of his first day, and his intense relationship with Stephen Hawking. Immediately after he was diagnosed with leukemia we were admitted to the pediatric intensive care unit. You have to remember at this time we knew NOTHING of pediatric cancer or leukemia I was a normal
😳 parent just like any of you reading this! All kinds of frightening words were being passed around and the one that sticks in my mind was the doctor saying we are going to insert a 2 foot long tube in his groin area up to his heart and take out all his blood and either clean it or replace it...say what?? Please repeat. Needless to say having 2 sisters as nurses was an incredible blessing. But seriously what dimension have I walked into?Wil of course was his normal joking self throughout this whole process. He had two amazing nurses that day Laura and Eileen, who did an amazing job keeping calm as well as dealing with a giant man child who was loud on the pediatric floor. He was always joking and teasing while Chris and I were trying to not fall apart and absorb the million bits of information thrown at us. When the doctors were wheeling Wil to the operating room the entire team gathered around Wil’s bed in the hallway as well as Chris and I and they had a moment of calm/reflection where the doctor asked for silence and they went over the objective and procedure to make sure everyone is on the same page. It is/was very impressive how focused the staff is on the medical procedure at hand. It is a very serious moment that was not lost on me as most of the people standing there were moms and dads with a child dying from leukemia in front of them. Once the meeting was over the team let us say our goodbyes and then they tell Wil they are going to wheel him into the surgical room and there is a bump on the way in. Needless to say they wheel him over the bump and he jumps in bed puts his hands up like it is a roller coaster ride and screams. There is a second where everyone pauses and looks at him to make sure he is ok, then EVERYONE busts into hysterical laughter. The doc says, so that’s how this surgery is going to go, we love patients like you Wil.
I know the surgery did not last long, but I remember pacing the hallways just screaming in my head “bring my kid back.” When they wheeled him back in the room he was knocked out, I remember looking into his man-child facing thinking how can this be happening? So panicked on the inside while remaining calm on the outside. They had chased everyone into the hallway except me and I remember seeing his sister peeking in through the blinds. It was so quiet and the lights were dim. They wheeled in the giant apheresis machine which is scary enough just thinking about what it does (separates plasma, white blood cells, & red blood cells) and I couldn’t help thinking this thing looks like something out of a 70s classroom (my first of many frustrations with pediatric cancer research). Picture in comments and more on that another day.
Here is where Stephen Hawkings comes into play. It is late at night the pediatric ICU has turned down the night lights and Wil STARTS TO WAKE UP. OH MY.... to say he was “tripping” on the drugs would be a vast understatement. The official medical term would be “a transient mind state evoked by hallucinogens.” Needless to say the first 20 minutes or so were scary for everyone and just LOUD with people coming running from all directions and lots of doctor orders for drug injections to counteract the reaction. And male orderlies coming in with velcro straps to tie him down to the bed and ME yelling at people to leave him alone and trying to explain to Wil calmly what was going on. Yes, Mama Bear was in full force.
Looking back it is funny, after the calming drugs took place. His sisters have plenty of video after the calming drugs to bribe him for life, but the first minutes WERE NOT. Wil started screaming all kinds of cuss words, wanting to rip off his IVs and his leg tube. Thrashing about and YELLING in his soccer goalie voice (for my soccer moms and dads they know that deep demanding, angry yell…). Imagine this voice in a small pediatric room on the pediatric cancer ICU floor at night! Wil went through several screaming matches yelling at us that we just didn’t understand! There was a whole sequence of screaming at the racoons on the wall to get on the f-ing train. Like where the hell is the f-ing train? Can’t we hear the train whistles? Brandi scrambling to get a sheet to cover up the picture of the raccoons. Me trying to explain to the panicking look on orderlies faces that he wasn’t going to be violent while he is screaming curse words at the top of his lungs about soccer and goalies and his f-ing team be the best damn team ever and they don’t know anything.
AND THEN the screaming for STEPHEN HAWKING comes. You cannot rationalize with him. He just had to get it out. He kept screaming at the men to get him Stephen Hawking. And anyone who walked in the room, where the f is Stephen Hawking. Wil screaming at the top of his lungs that he has figured out the fourth dimension https://www.youtube.com/watch… and it is through the sixth dimension and Stephen Hawking has to have this infomation right f-ing now. Yes, we told him we were going to get Stephen on the phone. At this point we are just waiting on meds from pharmacy to calm him down. But he goes on a 10 minute tirad explaining the fourth dimension and its relationship to the sixth dimension and OMG someone says what about the fifth dimension and that angers him and he’s screaming how the fifth dimension doesn’t matter AND HE NEED STEPHEN HAWKINGS RIGHT NOW because he is the only person in the world who will understand him…it was exhausting and scary and chaotic and bewildering and exactly how we were all feeling.
They get him the calming medicine and it does not stop him, but at least he is calm. I am attaching a small video of him an hour after the initial reaction and you can still hear the pain and panic in his voice. He needed Stephen Hawkings.
This was just a very small part of DAY 1 of leukemia. The next morning included the second surgery and you can be sure everyone and I mean everyone made sure he wouldn’t be given the same medicine as the night before.
So rest in peace Stephen Hawking, hopefully someday Wil and others will continue your scientific exploration of the 4th dimension.
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